I’m working on getting this site cleaned up and filled up and finding people who have books and materials that might be interesting to you or my other readers, you know, useful information for a successful life with this complication hanging over us, fiction and memoirs that tell stories that let us know we are not in this alone, plain old books that might come in especially handy because we are living with a bipolar spouse, and I have added a couple to my “found books” page and hope to be adding others soon. It’s stressful because some of the stories I am reading are so poorly edited that I wouldn’t wish them upon you. Some have no signs of planning or organization. So I’m asking you–if you have discovered a resource that you think should be on this page, make a note in the comments.
I will have to moderate those comments because unfortunately when links are allowed to go through unmoderated it seems like spambots come out in force and have a field day. I promise, I will approve posts as quickly as possible, but there’s only one person working on this, so be patient.
No, this page is not my greatest stressor. This page suffers the most when I am stressed out, but often it is my sanctuary in a storm. Writing actually helps me to calm down and think things through. If you haven’t tried it, do.
Right now I am dealing with a husband who has been working for nearly nine months with the same trucking company (the first job after over ten years unemployed) and he is starting to see greener grass with other trucking companies. One of the annoying things about him before he started treatment was that he couldn’t keep a job for more than a few months and was on to something new, frequently leaving gaps in employment when he couldn’t replace a job as easily as he expected. Well, at least he is finding another job before leaving this one. We have made some progress. Still, I don’t believe he has really thought this through, nor does he want to think it through. His current company isn’t treating him as well as he’d like and another might be better. Greener pastures await.
But I am not so sure. I fear change. I kept a job I really didn’t like for 13 years rather than make a change. He can’t wait one year. Nine months and he’s off. I know he may have better experiences with other companies, but he won’t accept that he might also have worse experiences, that he might not last even nine months with the next company. I’m afraid.
I’m afraid he’s manic. Not floridly manic, hearing voices, starting fights, wanting to run the company. No, but maybe a little manic–believing that he deserves special treatment or that he knows more about trucking than the people who have been there all these years. Believing that he is being intentionally and personally attacked when a phone isn’t answered or an error is made.
And I’m at home…waiting, wondering, worrying and writing. I’m at home… trying to hold myself together, trying to understand, trying to plan my own next move. I’m at home… looking for resources to help other people who are like myself. Waiting for the other shoe.to.drop. Waiting. Thanks for waiting with me.