Category Archives: writer

Radical Well-Being

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I meet a lot of other authors online and occassionally come across someone in a different field who has something worthwhile for those of us dealing with bipolar. Rita Hancock MD, author of Radical Well-Being–A Biblical Guide to  Overcoming Pain, Illness and Addiction, is one of those authors. As a doctor she has found  that often physical pain and compulsive behavior is magnified by spiritual or emotional pain.

Her book offers both insight and solutions. My review is  in the next post.

 

(1) Tell us about your book!

Radical Well-being—A Biblical Guide to Overcoming Pain, Illness, and Addictions is about how emotional and spiritual stressors can aggravate physical pain problems and illnesses (such as fibromyalgia, migraine headaches, neck and back pain, irritable bowels, allergies, rashes, etc.) and even cause us to fall into compulsive behaviors like overeating, consuming drugs and alcohol, etc.

In my book, I tell lots and lots of stories about patients who have broken free from these problems by addressing things like

  1.  unforgiveness toward people who hurt them;
  2.  lies that they internalized about themselves when they were children; and
  3.  areas of sin that they were refusing to acknowledge.

(2) What motivated you to write Radical Well-being?

After only a short time in practice, I noticed that some patients had physical pain in spite of negative x-rays, MRIs, and blood tests. Sometimes, those people had alignment issues or muscle spasms that caused pain. Obviously, if I found potential physical causes, I treated them. But, sometimes, even after I treated those people, they still hurt!

Eventually, as I matured in my faith and as I matured as a physician, I got gutsier and started asking patients about past emotional traumas (and even spiritual issues) in those situations. It turned out that getting my patients to talk about the “issues” of their lives made a huge difference in their stress levels and in their physical health. I figured if my patients benefitted and found pain relief and relief of stress-induced illness that way maybe others needed to hear about this, too.

(3) Did you write about yourself in any of those patient stories?

You bet! Little pieces of my own story are woven into a few of the patient scenarios I talk about in my book. I have personally benefitted from thinking this way, too! That’s why I know how good it feels to break free from the lies that we internalize about ourselves while growing up.

(4) How can this information help people with bipolar disorder or their family members?

I believe EVERYONE can benefit from uncovering the lies that we believe about ourselves, forgiving those who hurt us, and coming clean with God in regard to our sins. Specifically, in terms of BPD, I believe there could be a fair amount of guilt, anger, bitterness, and resentment among the family members and sufferers of this condition.

Many of my patients are bipolar, so I’ve had a reasonable glimpse into the stresses associated with this condition—not just those experienced by the patients, but those experienced by their families, too.

(5) What parting words would you like to leave my readers with?

No matter if you’re manic, depressed, holding steady in-between, or if you’re a family member or friend of a person with BPD, God loves you very much and wants you to be freed from emotional and spiritual stressors that might be adding to your situation. My prayer is that you and everyone else you know can find this kind of uplifting relief by reading my book, Radical Well-being.

Thanks so much for this opportunity to talk about my book, Bonnie!

Impulse control?

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We are the proud owners of a 2012 semi truck. Although we had agreed that Troy would work with the same company for at least a year and have some money in the bank for emergencies before making that step, with less than a year total of driving and with only two months since he switched employers, Troy surprised me by bringing home his “own” truck. Surprise! Huh?

So far he’s brought home one check that was comparable to what he was making as a company driver, two that were less than half, and two that weren’t deposits because he had a negative balance. Do you have any idea how raw my tongue is from the biting. He gets upset when I look at him sideways, so “I told you so” is not exactly helpful however true. I knew this would happen. I told him to do the numbers from company driving to see how it would compare. I told him to get to know the company a bit. I told him things he didn’t want to hear. So he surprised me.

Why do I feel like I’ve been jumped from behind and beaten senseless? All of the bills are late this month. I can’t start substitute teaching until I get my background check (scheduled for this Saturday) completed. I’m not making enough on the books yet to support us. How can he be so oblivious? How can he be angry with me for not being supportive enough when he doesn’t do what he agrees to do? I know impulse control is an issue, but who knew that they’d lease a $100,000.00+ truck to someone who doesn’t have a whole year working since he’s been on disability? They’re crazier than he is!

How do you deal with it when your bipolar partner does something impulsive that scares the daylights out of you? (Comments below would be appreciated.) Do you try to fix it? Do you make them fix it? Do you step back and try to figure out where to go from here? Divorce? Murder?

I’ve learned to fight crazy with rational. This is not the end of the world. I paid the power bill and we do still have time to pay everything else before anything terrible happens–the bill collectors will wait one month without even getting upset. He will either get a reasonably good check this week or he will return the truck and go back to company driving–that was his idea. He gets paid every week, so we could have a regular check in two weeks, most and I could start getting substitute teaching checks the week after that. We will survive. We always have.

Meanwhile, it’s pushed me to think more about promoting my book and that might just be a good thing.

I woke up this morning and while I usually don’t turn on the TV until evening, I turned on The Today Show and saw Justin Bieber’s mother promoting her book about growing up with abuse and how she survived it. She has a big advantage with promoting because of her son, but my story is just as interesting and I’m a “normal” person who has some helpful ideas. I sent my story to the Today Show at NBC. I will probably never hear back from them, but it would definitely lift my spirits if they even acknowledge the idea. I don’t know if we could afford a trip to New York, but we couldn’t afford not to go if they agreed to interview us.

I’m working on an article for the local paper, too. Got to be careful what I say locally because everyone at church will read it.  I’m pretty sure they already know we’re a bit off over here, but I don’t know how they will react. It’s strange that I’m more comfortable approaching the whole world on the internet or the whole country on the national news than putting an article in the local paper or doing a local radio interview (still trying to work up the nerve to do that) or even local tv. Maybe it’s that I don’t really expect to get on the Today Show so it’s low risk.

Besides, maybe going on a national talk show would cause a nice spike in sales and someday down the line I’d get a decent check from Amazon so I wouldn’t have to be so nervous. I don’t think the local media could do that for me. I could be wrong.

A Family’s Secret–Bipolar Disorder on Treetop Lane–Author

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I’ve been trying to get some new books posted to the site, books that will help people understand what bipolar is really like, books that offer a little different point of view, books that show some of the variations of bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder can present in very different ways and it seems like nothing can really prepare you for it.

While looking for books to share with you, I’ve met some interesting people by email and the author of this book has become one of my friends. Carol Horan wrote a memoir about her marriage to a man with bipolar disorder called A Family’s Secret–Bipolar Disorder on Treetop Lane.  It is available on Amazon. Carol also has a website at http://bipolarfamilysecret.com/ where you can learn more. Let me introduce Carol:

            Now happily remarried and retired, Carol is grateful for having two adult children who she feels close to in her heart, if not geographically. She is the grandmother of seven, four girls and three boys. She loves to read, cook, teach water fitness, golf and volunteer at an agency which helps abused children. She also enjoys Yoga, Pilates and swimming. She currently co-facilitates Divorce Care with her current husband at her church.

Carol spent a total of twenty-eight years in the field of marriage and family therapy. She began working at a community mental health agency for six years. Later she worked for two counties doing outreach with chronic truants and their families for six years. At the same time, she began a private practice in marriage and family therapy which lasted for twenty-two years. During that time she worked as an EAP associate for two Employee Assistance Programs. She was also a presenter for a county Kids in a Divorcing Society Program for fifteen years.

She spent fifteen years employed as a counselor and prevention coordinator for a large high school district.

She feels strongly about our need to advocate for laws that help those who suffer from mental illness. They need access to professional help, medication and hospitalization. Far too many people suffering from mental illness find themselves homeless or incarcerated. For many it is a vicious and never ending circle. Individuals and families suffer, and so does the public at large. Mental illness is treatable.

Untreated mental illness, however, is frightening to the patient and their loved ones. A major difficulty is getting a patient to submit to treatment and medication, since one of the worst aspects of the disease is the accompanying denial that there is any need for help. The denial found in patients who are suffering from a mental illness is often similar to those who are addicted to alcohol and other drugs.

When Carol’s first husband was experiencing mania, he saw no need for help. He was convinced everyone else had a problem. This is often the case. Her memoir is drawn from her memories and journal describing her experiences in a twenty-six year marriage. There were many good memories, but untreated mental illness changed everything.

Don’t forget to look for her book on Amazon. And check out her website at http://bipolarfamilysecret.com/ .

 

 

 

Dis-Stressed

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I’m working on getting this site cleaned up and filled up and finding people who have books and materials that might be interesting to you or my other readers, you know, useful information for a successful life with this complication hanging over us, fiction and memoirs that tell stories that let us know we are not in this alone, plain old books that might come in especially handy because we are living with a bipolar spouse, and I have added a couple to my “found books” page and hope to be adding others soon. It’s stressful because some of the stories I am reading are so poorly edited that I wouldn’t wish them upon you. Some have no signs of planning or organization. So I’m asking you–if you have discovered a resource that you think should be on this page, make a note in the comments.

I will have to moderate those comments because unfortunately when links are allowed to go through unmoderated it seems like spambots come out in force and have a field day. I promise, I will approve posts as quickly as possible, but there’s only one person working on this, so be patient.

No, this page is not my greatest stressor. This page suffers the most when I am stressed out, but often it is my sanctuary in a storm. Writing actually helps me to calm down and think things through. If you haven’t tried it, do.

Right now I am dealing with a husband who has been working for nearly nine months with the same trucking company (the first job after over ten years unemployed) and he is starting to see greener grass with other trucking companies. One of the annoying things about him before he started treatment was that he couldn’t keep a job for more than a few months and was on to something new, frequently leaving gaps in employment when he couldn’t replace a job as easily as he expected.  Well, at least he is finding another job before leaving this one. We have made some progress. Still, I don’t believe he has really thought this through, nor does he want to think it through. His current company isn’t treating him as well as he’d like and another might be better. Greener pastures await.

But I am not so sure. I fear change. I kept a job I really didn’t like for 13 years rather than make a change. He can’t wait one year. Nine months and he’s off. I know he may have better experiences with other companies, but he won’t accept that he might also have worse experiences, that he might not last even nine months with the next company. I’m afraid.

I’m afraid he’s manic. Not floridly manic, hearing voices, starting fights, wanting to run the company. No, but maybe a little manic–believing that he deserves special treatment or that he knows more about trucking than the people who have been there all these years. Believing that he is being intentionally and personally attacked when a phone isn’t answered or an error is made.

And I’m at home…waiting, wondering, worrying and writing. I’m at home… trying to hold myself together, trying to understand, trying to plan my own next move.  I’m at home… looking for resources to help other people who are like myself. Waiting for the other shoe.to.drop. Waiting. Thanks for waiting with me.

Just a Little Manic

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My husband, Troy, called this morning and told me that he might be a little manic and that he bought himself a new pair of cowboy boots the other day. Yep, might be a little manic.

He wants to get a ready-made garage installed at the back of our lot and was saving the income tax refund for a down payment. I’m not sure if the boots are a bad thing or if they might have saved us from getting into debt. The garage would be nice, and we might still be able to make it. At least Troy recognizes that he shouldn’t be making financial decisions at this point. A little manic.

Yesterday he was calling around to all of the other trucking companies to try to find himself a better job. It seems that the company that’s allowed him to start training others after just six months and that has given him some pretty good miles might not be the best paying company out there. Besides, the trainees that they are assigning to him aren’t ready for on-the-job training–they can’t even shift through the gears properly. So it’s time to find another company to work for. It doesn’t matter that he has health insurance where he is and is getting some tests done this week. It’s time to start calling other trucking companies–because maybe he’s a little manic? Nah, couldn’t be.

Meanwhile I’m at home worrying about all of the old medical bills that insurance didn’t pay for one reason or another and what we’ll do if anything happens while he is uninsured for the transition. Maybe he’ll forget about it before he has a chance to act on it, Maybe he’ll be stable again soon. Maybe he’s just a little manic.

Take some deep breaths, find something else to work on, check to see if I’ve sold another eBook on Amazon. HEY! My paperback is showing up for sale through Amazon! I released it a few days ago and I’ve been holding back on publicity offline because nobody would be able to find my book on the self-publishing site. MY BOOK! It’s on Amazon! Who’s a little manic now?

 

Manic Energy?

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I just got back from the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop and am feeling just a bit of what manic energy might feel like. My mind is racing from all of the information I received from the speakers and all the new friends I made. It was probably the most fun I’ve had alone in my entire life–I don’t get out much, but this was spectacular.

Usually I am pretty much a wall-flower, but I got involved with a group of people before the event and ended up being in the center of things instead. I don’t know what I was afraid of. The people I met were wonderful and interesting and fun. I didn’t feel left out or looked down upon at all, even when I was talking to people who have already accomplished more than I have even dreamed.

There was a lot of information shared in a short period of time and I tend to be a bit of a sponge–I love information. I took a lot of notes and ordered a copy of the audio of the whole event so I can go over anything I might have missed.  I’ve never got this much useful information all at once and it is taking longer than I expected to process it all and get my act together to use it. Maybe I’m getting older?

The racing thoughts, the feeling of being on top of the world, the need to keep moving, and the inability to actually sit down and get started seems so similar to how my husband describes his feelings in manic episodes that it’s scaring me.  I know that having this experience doesn’t make me bipolar, I am merely overwhelmed, but I have never actually been able to experience anything this close. I don’t know why anyone would get hooked on mania if it’s like this–it’s not really fun. I’m rather fond of being in control of my own mind.

I managed to sit down and write this post. I am making progress toward calming down enough to do some of the changes that were discussed in the sessions.  I just need time to relax.

I hope you will like the changes on this website.

 

Starting Over

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Bonnie Rice

Every once in a while, we come to a point in our lives where we’d like to start over with a clean slate and an opportunity to fill the blank page with a new story. Today is my day.

I fully intend to get all of my old articles rewritten and posted on this website and in time it will represent my life’s work–going forward and backward from today–but today I just want to enjoy my clean slate.

If you are one of the people who has a bipolar partner and you want more information on how to live a great life in spite of or because of that fact–check out LOVE HAS ITS UPS AND DOWNS and come back regularly to this site. We will cover a lot of ground on that topic.  Look for the “bipolar spouse” category.

If you are a writer, especially a non-fiction writer, and you want to learn about my work as a writer and about the things I am learning as I write and publish my books and maintain my blog and submit articles to other publishers you’ll want to check in here, too. Look for the “writer” category.

If you are struggling with organizing your time or your space or your finances, this will also be a good resource. I’ve learned that being organized in ways that are helpful to you and fit your lifestyle is possible even if having a spotless house and money in the bank isn’t. I’ve helped hundreds of people find more peace and prosperity in their lives without totally reworking their lifestyle or winning the lottery. I can help you, too. Look for the “home organization” or “frugal living” category.

Friday March 16, 2012 marks the last day that I worked as a clerk at Walgreens. Monday March 19, 2012 is the first day of the rest of my life. If you are considering quitting your day job or leaving some other toxic situation to start a new life for yourself, you have come to the right place. Join me as I step into a new life full of possibility and dreams. We can make it. Look for the “new beginnings” category.