It’s been a while since I’ve posted to this blog and I can’t quite figure out why. It’s not as if I’ve run out of things to write about. It’s not that I don’t have time. It’s not even that I am particularly blocked as far as I can tell. So what’s the problem?
I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop and afraid to get caught up in anything lest I miss some early warning sign and the world comes crashing down around me. I can’t write because by the time I get to the end of this sentence, I might get a phone call and not listen well enough, not pay attention to his tone or his intensity. And even if there’s not a thing I could actually do, it will be all my fault when….
I have a friend who is no stranger to crises and she is struggling right now. Her husband doesn’t have bipolar, he has a degenerative brain disease with no hope for any sort of recovery. He’s moved on and she’s going to college to rebuild her life. Like me, she has had struggles with poverty and with her children and you know how it is. Now she has learned that she isn’t getting the financial aid she needs to finish her senior year and she’s feeling helpless and hopeless and trying to find a loan she qualifies for…
We’ve all been there in some way or another. We’ve all gotten to the end of our rope and found no knot to hang onto. We’ve all been paralyzed with fear, waiting for the end and it didn’t come. Not the way we expected. Not the way we feared, though not the way we wanted, either.
Whether we have a problem staring us in the face or simply the fear that something terrible is going to happen, giving in to the fear isn’t going to fix it. We can step on up and fill out the loan forms or pick up the phone or write the article or send the letter or whatever it takes to move beyond the roadblock.
Today I’m posting to my blog. What are you doing today?